"Love. It's OK to use that word every now and then.”

ESPN’s feature story on Viking’s Head Coach Kevin O’Connell shows, again, that a coaching style that values and leads with patience and grace is not just an outlier for producing a successful program and healthy team culture—it might just be the “secret sauce.” 

Coach O’Connell explains why this approach is essential: “If we're only going to operate the way we want when things are going well, that's a culture that has nothing to do with what we're trying to build here.”  

Translation: It’s easy to keep our values when everything is going well, but culture is cemented when those same values are lived out in moments or seasons of difficulty. 

Coaches, if someone watched your team for a week, what would they see? What would they notice about how your athletes compete or interact with each other? What about how they interact with you? What would they observe about how officials are treated or the posture towards the opposing team? What about practice? How would they rate your athletes' level of effort or their attitude? Do seniors only talk with seniors or engage with the younger athletes on the team? Is any community being built outside their athletic context or do they only connect when they have to?

Questions like these speak to the culture of a team. A team culture consists of behavioral and value-based norms (communicated or uncommunicated) that shape how individuals interact with one another and others as they collectively pursue a common goal. A team culture can be observed, analyzed, and most importantly, built. And it’s the responsibility of the coach to do it. 

Most coaches have a plan for X’s and O’s, but what about one for building a healthy team culture? What does it look like to gameplan for culture in the same way that we gameplan for championships? And for the purposes of this article, does Jesus have anything to say about this? The answer to that last question is no. Jesus wasn’t a coach. He didn’t play sports (at least nothing that we read about in the Bible). But he did lead a small group of individuals toward a common goal. 

How then, can coaches lead like Jesus within their athletic context? 

Jesus modeled leadership through two principles that modern-day coaches would be wise to consider implementing within their own leadership—not only as a means to an end but because the means itself embodies the God we serve. These principles can be embraced together, regardless of whether you coach at a faith-based or secular institution.

Jesus Communicated High Standards

It’s one thing to set high standards or even just “have them” for your team. It’s another thing to regularly communicate those expectations. Jesus did both. 

• He asked his disciples to leave their families, possessions, and livelihoods to follow him (Matthew 4:19–22; Luke 14:33).

• He challenged them to sacrifice and face hardships for his sake (Luke 9:23).

• He encouraged unconditional love and forgiveness, even to those who wronged them (Matthew 5:44; Matthew 18:21–22).

• He taught that greatness was achieved through serving others (Mark 10:43–45)

• His expectation was that his disciples trust God entirely, even in difficult circumstances (Matthew 14:28–31; Mark 11:22–24).

• He urged his followers to aim for perfection, reflecting God’s character (Matthew 5:48).

• He commanded his disciples to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing and teaching them (Matthew 28:19–20).

• He even raised the existing bar that was set through the Law, showing his followers that an emphasis on the heart is more important than mere external obedience (Matthew 5:17-48).

What’s the point? Jesus did not shy away from high standards. He called his followers to a standard of excellence that exceeded what they were often capable of achieving. For coaches wanting to follow Jesus’ model in this space, this means that there is something good about creating, communicating, and challenging your team with high standards. In a way, it’s part of how we live out the image of God that we were made to reflect. God designed us with a desire to make a difference, not just float through life without goals or ambition. And setting high expectations unleashes this desire in all of us to want our existence to count for something. 

But Jesus didn’t stop at high expectations. He complimented this leadership principle with a second one worth exploring. 

Jesus Showed Patience and Grace

Jesus had high expectations but he also embodied patience toward his followers along the way, showing them grace in their journey. 

• Remember, his expectation was that his disciples trust God entirely, even in difficult circumstances (Matthew 14:28–31; Mark 11:22–24). But what did Jesus do when the disciples panicked during a storm, thinking they would perish? He rebuked the storm and then gently asked, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40). Despite their fear and lack of trust, He didn’t abandon them but used the moment to teach about faith.

• His expectation of them was to pick up their cross daily and die to self for his sake (Luke 9:23). But Jesus also showed patience when Peter denied Him three times, later restoring him gently and giving him a leadership role (John 21:15–19).

• Jesus refused to be exasperated when his disciples argued about who was the greatest. Instead, he used these moments as opportunities to teach them about humility and servant leadership (Mark 9:33-37).

• And while he communicated the expectation to pursue perfection, he showed grace when a woman was caught in adultery by not condemning her, even though others demanded her punishment (John 8:1–11).

It’s worth pointing out that most mistakes in practice or competition are not sinful. An athletic shortcoming is not the same as a moral failure. But the point is this: whenever we fall short of a standard set by someone else, we have to answer to that authority. It must be addressed. So how do we do this as coaches? Does this mean we always show grace and patience whenever our athletes make mistakes? Probably not always. There is a place for consequences when athletes fall short of what’s expected. But there is still wisdom in leading with grace and patience. Not just because it’s the Jesus thing to do, but because it frees our athletes to practice and compete without the fear of us blowing up on them, benching them, or ignoring them whenever they screw up. Coaches, athletes who compete freely are best positioned to reach their God-given athletic potential. Why? Because they are the ones who most often take appropriate risks and compete with the creativity that allows them to keep improving.

Why High Standards and High Grace Trump The Alternatives

Building a team culture through communicating and committing to high standards is great. But if the athletes do not experience it with a high amount of grace from the coach, does it contribute to a healthy culture? What about the flip side? Can the culture of a team thrive if coaches continually lead with grace and patience but with low expectations for team success?

The following four formulas show why Jesus’ model is one worth implementing within our contexts:

High Expectations + High Grace = Highly Motivated and Empowering Culture

In an empowering team culture, athletes are pushed and stretched to achieve their best, individually and as a team, while being supported with understanding, encouragement, and grace when mistakes occur. Again, this creates freedom for the athlete to take risks in new ways, knowing their coach will not bench them after every mistake. Beyond the athletic reasons, a team culture built through high standards and grace carries the aroma of the Gospel. It creates an environment much like the Church, where the imperfect body of believers strives after the Great Commission together. We fall short, we pick each other up. And repeat. 

High Expectations + Low Grace = Highly Motivating and Demanding Culture

Within a demanding team culture, results and performance are prioritized and celebrated, but with little tolerance for mistakes or setbacks. This creates a fear-based environment for athletes and often inhibits their ability to play and compete with freedom and creativity. 

Low Expectations + High Grace = Low Motivation and Enabling Culture

An enabling team culture creates an environment with abundant leniency and understanding, but little emphasis on striving for high performance or improvement. This creates resentment and a loss of motivation amongst the athletes as there is little accountability for those who are not bought in, lazy, or indifferent. 

Low Expectations + Low Grace = Low Motivation and Apathetic Culture 

A team culture marked by apathy is an environment with little emphasis on achievement, goals, or growth and minimal support or understanding for mistakes, leading to a lack of motivation and accountability. This is the worst type of culture as athletes compete without a high level of purpose, but also with a significant amount of fear, knowing that a mistake will put them in the doghouse. 

Coaches, leading like Jesus does not guarantee that championships and winning streaks will follow. However, prioritizing high standards with patient grace is another way we reflect God’s image within the culture we are trying to build on our teams. And, hopefully, our team will impact the broader sport culture as well.