An NFL Mock Draft Using Biblical Prospects
NFL teams are on the clock looking to improve their rosters through the draft. But what if the big board was only comprised of historical biblical characters? I put my scouts to work and created a mock draft based on the current first round of the NFL Draft and tried to be cognizant of each teams’ primary needs. As a bonus, I have three prospects with first round grades who fell to the second round.
1. Jacksonville Jaguars
Moses, QB/WR, Hebrew University at Egypt
The Jaguars finally get their franchise quarterback. Moses is a true dual-threat quarterback who can also play just about any position asked of him. He can receive just about anything thrown his way and if you give him enough instructions, he can pass anything along. A reluctant and quiet leader, Moses led his college team from the cellar to the verge of the promised land (he never quite made it there) in just a few months. Interesting fact about Moses: his brother, Aaron, runs all of his social media accounts.
Career Highlights: The book of Exodus
2. New York Jets
Joseph, QB, Canaan College
The Jets decide to move on from Sam Darnold and draft the young stud out of Canaan College. Joseph has everything you could ask for out of this position. He was not only told by God in a dream that he would be successful, but he also had the swagger to tell his father and brothers about it. Scouts love his swagger. He has faced adversity at every level and has always earned his spot through years of hard work. Look for him to ride the bench his first year before proving himself in practice. Although a little undersized, Joseph makes up for it with his quick thinking and ability to escape difficult situations. Rumor has it that he is playing on wearing a new designer sport coat to the draft that reflects his “unique” personality.
Career Highlights: Genesis 37-50
3. Miami Dolphins
Elijah, WR, Tishbe University at Gilead
Though he has the stats to justify getting drafted early, Elijah’s shining moment came in the bowl game when he outran the entire Jezebel defense. The boy can flat out fly. The yellow flag on Elijah is that he has a tendency to taunt the opposing teams. With that being said, no one can accuse him of not backing it up. Scouts note that he has a tendency to disappear at times and encourage his future coaches to whisper encouragement instead of yelling at him.
Career Highlights: 1 Kings 17-19
4. Atlanta Falcons
Jonah, QB, Tarshish College
The early run on quarterbacks continues as the Falcons snag Matt Ryan’s future replacement. Jonah is a bit of an oddity at the quarterback position. He is a scramble first quarterback, not because he is particularly fast, but because he fears taking a risk by throwing the ball downfield. The biggest knock on him is that he gets easily overwhelmed, causing him to play scared. He has all of the tools to be great, but at this point, he projects as a high ceiling prospect with a very low floor. He should slide into the backup role right away and thrive as a player who can step in when called upon, as long as you don’t ask him to do too much.
Career Highlights: The book of Jonah
5. Cincinnati Bengals
Goliath, OT, Philistine University
Burrow should have all the time in the world to throw the ball next year with the addition of Goliath along the Bengals offensive line. A skilled warrior in the trenches, Goliath is a massive human. At 9’6” and 545lbs, any defensive end will need to take the long way around. You are not bull-rushing this guy and he will let you know about it too. Said by many analysts to be overconfident, Goliath has no problem telling opponents how he feels. Although he has a history of concussions, many attribute that to his refusal to wear proper head gear. A helmet should make him nearly unstoppable.
Career Highlights: 1 Samuel 17
6. Philadelphia Eagles
Saul, WR, College of Benjamin
The Eagles grab a weapon for Hurts. What’s not to like about this guy? He is big, tall, fast, and handsome. One of the more driven prospects to come out of Benjamin, Saul routinely bullies opposing cornerbacks, especially ones who he feels threatened by. Scouts have been quick to point out that he can be a bit of a diva if he does not get his way. The eagles would be wise to give him #1 receiver job heading into the season and not treat him like they treated Wentz. If he is regulated to the #2 position, look out, we could have a replay of last season—with exponential consequences.
Career Highlights: 1 Samuel 9 – 2 Samuel
7. Detroit Lions
Samson, LB, Zora University
The Lions finally stop taking receivers and tight ends with their top ten pick and give the defense some help…for once. The top rated linebacker in this year’s draft, Samson has a history of off the field issues. But there is no doubting his physical ability. 300 lb offensive lineman do not stand a chance against a man who has dominated thousands of blockers at once. He is an athletic freak whose astronomical numbers at the combine had him skyrocket up teams’ big boards. The biggest weakness, aside from his hair being cut, will be the distraction of cheerleaders from the opposing teams. If he can keep his focus on the field, he will help solidify the back end of the Lions defense for about 20 years.
Career Highlights: Judges 13-16
8. Carolina Panthers
Jethro, QB, Midian College
Jethro is the smartest quarterback in the draft. A relatively unknown player during his time at MC, Jethro turned heads in the pre-draft process when he aced the Wonderlic test. He may not have the physical skills needed for the quarterback position but scouts are drooling over his feel for the game. He is able to read a defense quickly and figure out exactly what it will take to beat it. The Panthers hope that Jethro wins out the starting spot during his first year, but if nothing else, they will be excited to have him giving advice to leaders in their organization for years to come.
9. Denver Broncos
Peter, CB, Galilee College of Aquatics
The Broncos stop the run on quarterbacks and draft the intriguing cornerback prospect out of Galilee. A confident and arguably cocky prospect, Peter is not afraid to talk. He is a gambler at the cornerback position who thrives when he is targeted by curious quarterbacks. No stranger to failure and putting his foot in his mouth, Peter has a unique ability to press on after his (many) mistakes. The Broncos hope Peter will be the foundation of the defense for years to come and plan on building around his talent. The media will have a lot of fun with Peter and his quotable personality.
Career Highlights: Matthew 4-26
10. Dallas Cowboys
Boaz, RT, College of Bethlehem
The Cowboys add needed stability to their offensive line with Boaz. There is nothing particularly outstanding about him, yet he is good at just about everything he tries. Scouts describe him as responsible for his side of the offensive line and a man who takes protection (of his quarterback) seriously. This pick may not be flashy, but it will fill a huge need for a Cowboy team looking to redeem their offensive line play in 2021.
11. New York Giants
Zacchaeus, WR, University of Jericho
A short, speedy, shifty, and sometimes shady receiver out of UJ, Zacchaeus has great hands, often stealing passes out of the hands of waiting defenders. The biggest knock on Zacchaeus is that many scouts believe he rode the success of his team to stardom. There was no shortage of riches on offense at the University of Jericho and there is a chance Zacchaeus was merely a product of a successful program. He may have to adapt his game to have a chance at stardom in the NFL.
Career Highlights: Luke 19:1-10
12. San Francisco 49ers
Pharaoh, CB, Egypt University
A big and intimidating cornerback from EU, scouts absolutely love his stubbornness on the field. He has a knack for bouncing right back after he gets burned by acting like it never even happened. Short term memory is a great trait for any CB and Pharoah has plenty of it. Although he is a violent hitter, he may forever be plagued by his inability to intercept the Israelites during his last collegiate game. This battle-tested veteran can step in right away and contribute to an already loaded 49er defense.
Career Highlights: Exodus 7-14
13. Los Angeles Chargers
Eglon, OT, The Moab University
An absolute mauler ready to give Herbert the protection he needs in 2021 and beyond. Eglon, a 460 lb center, has been described by scouts as “tyrannical” because of his tendency to run over anyone who stands in his way. He plays with a mean streak rivaled only by medieval kings. The only red flag on Eglon is his inability to successfully handle left-handed opponents. Look for opposing defenses to line up their best lefties to knife through the tackle’s soft spot.
14. Minnesota Vikings
Job, OG, UZ College
The Vikings shore up their offensive line by grabbing the undersized right guard from Uz College. Once considered the greatest guard the college game has ever seen, his junior year was marred by injury after injury…after injury. On top of that, several teammates questioned whether his injuries resulted from his own poor decisions. His game film would disagree with his friends’ assesment. Despite the enormous setback, Job stunningly put together a senior season that has scouts drooling. Is it possible that he is better now after his injuries? The Vikings hope so.
Career Highlights: The book of Job
15. New England Patriots
Jacob, RB, University of Paddan-aram
The best running back on the board. Period. A master at the art of misdirection, Jacob should fit right in with the Patriots. Jacob routinely fooled defenders into thinking he was going one way before changing courses at the last minute. If he can get to the edge, there is no catching this guy. He looks most comfortable when he is running for his life, but he also has a lot of mileage on his legs. As long as he can fully heal from a hip injury he sustained last year in a wrestling match off campus, he should be the three down back NFL the Patriots need him to be.
Career Highlights: Genesis 25-35
16. Arizona Cardinals
Paul, RB, Damascus Road College
A small but pesky runner out of DRC will form a dynamic one-two punch with Murray. Despite his small stature, Paul is not afraid to run right into the middle of trouble. His history of concussions aside, Paul is perhaps the most determined, aggressive, and passionate player in this year’s draft. The Cardinals are banking on the fact that he will beat his body to help this team succeed. Many analysts have pegged Paul as the one person in this draft that can motivate the people around him and turn any franchise around.
17. Las Vegas Raiders
Benaiah, DE, Kabzeel College
Las Vegas refuses to gamble and settles for the safest player in the draft. Benaiah first caught scouts’ attention as a freshman playing against the Moabite Lions. He was in the Lion’s backfield all day. Double teams had no effect on his ability to get after the quarterback. The mighty prospect out of Kabzeel will thrive at the next level where he will be constantly pitted against less talented lineman. Las Vegas may considering blowing snow onto their field as Benaiah has proven to be unstoppable on snowy surfaces.
Career Highlights: 1 Chronicles 11:22-24
18. Miami Dolphins
Mordecai, DE, University of Persia
Perhaps the sneakiest defensive player in the draft. Mordecai often gets ignored because of his simple style of play. However, when you least expect it, he will boldly get after the opposing quarterback. You do not hear this often for a defensive player, but Mordecai has been labeled as “clutch” because of his tendency to come on strong late in games. The Dolphins are looking for a player that makes a habit of spoiling the plans of opposing offenses—and they found him in Mordecai.
Career Highlights: Book of Esther
19. Washington Football Team
Prodigal, QB, Judah Prep High School
A youngster right out of high school, scouts everywhere questioned whether he should risk it all and try his luck in the league or play it safe and go to college. The cocky teenager will learn quickly that the NFL is a big boy league. Despite the steep learning curve, his talent is undeniable. Washington will have to have some patience with him. The best case scenario is that he rides the pine for the first year, learns some humility, and makes a run at comeback player of the year in the near future.
Career Highlights: Luke 15:11-32
20. Chicago Bears
Mary, WR, Nazareth College of the Arts
The Bears decide to innovate their offense yet again with this selection. Reports from inside Chicago are hearing the OC wants to spread out the defense and hit them with multiple Hail Mary throws each quarter. If you want to throw a 60-yard prayer, who better to have waiting in the end zone than Mary herself? It has been rumored that teams considering drafting Mary would hope to have a leg up in the competition for her Son. He has yet to declare, but scouts have given him the highest praise of any athlete in history.
Career Highlights: Matthew 1-2
21. Indianapolis Colts
Og, ST, Bashan School of Arts
The Colts make their biggest special teams drat splash since Pat McAfee. Og is a special teams giant out of Bashan. What makes this guy so special and worthy of a first-round investment? His size. Og stands at 10’8” tall. Rumor has it that his bed is 13’ long! Combined with his giant size, he has a vertical leap of 42”. In 2016 alone Og was able to block 14 field goal attempts and 22 extra point attempts. Look for opponents to put their kicking game on hold when Og’s team comes to town.
Career Highlights: Deuteronomy 3:11
22. Tennessee Titans
Cain, LB, Eastern Eden University
Cain was one of the most productive linebackers coming off the edge in college football last year. His hard-hitting style shows someone who has a disregard for human life, however, there seems to be something lacking in his effort that scouts cannot seem to put a finger on. His level of sacrifice for his coaches at EEU consistently fell short of their expectations. With that being said, analysts agree that the Titans would be wise not to question how much sacrifice he is willing to give as his short temper has proven costly in the past. Also, don’t call him bro.
23. New York Jets
Timothy, RB, Damascus Road College
Timothy rarely saw the field last year, often playing second fiddle to DRC’s workhorse back, Paul. When he did see snaps, he showed amazing potential and the Jets are banking on the fact that Paul taught him a few tricks. Another knock on Timothy is that he declared early for the draft and perhaps could have helped his future stock by staying in the college game. Don’t count him out just because he is young, this is a guy who is driven and has fresh legs.
Career Highlights: 1 and 2 Timothy
24. Pittsburgh Steelers
John the Baptist, OT, Judea Southern University
A win now pick for the Steeler organization. John the Baptist is skilled, but will never be a long term solution at the tackle position. With that being said, Baptist does a fantastic job of getting his hands dirty and making sure everything is set for the offense to shine. Scouts all agree that he seems to enjoy setting others up for success. Count on Baptist to fortify the right side of the line for the Steelers until a better option rises up.
25. Jacksonville Jaguars
David, S, Judah High School
A high school phenom out of Judah, David made a name for himself last year when he absolutely rocked Goliath on his way to helping his team win the state championship. Although he has been declared the next great safety, he is undersized and his emotional style of play has led to outbursts of weeping and bouts of depression. He will take time to develop.
Career Highlights: 1 Samuel 16 – 2 Samuel 24
26. Cleveland Browns
Jabez, DE, Central Judah University
Jabez was one of the most disruptive rushers in the college game last year. Scouts will point out that he is a one trick pony—but it is a great one trick. His game is simple. He has one signature move and he has perfected it. The Browns know exactly what they are getting with this pick and so does anyone who tries to block him. By keeping it simple, Jabez will continue to thrive at the next level.
Career Highlights: 1 Chronicles 4:10
27. Baltimore Ravens
Noah, S, Floodwaters Bible College
Noah is ready to anchor the defense for the Ravens right away. While playing safety for FBC, Noah single handedly prevented disasters from any aerial attack his team faced. The scouting report on Noah is pretty straightforward: he does not have a great feel for the game, but if you give him a playbook, he will faithfully devour it and perfect any scheme the coaches ask of him. Baltimore would be wise to give Noah a flood of information early on. He can handle it.
Career Highlights: Genesis 6-9
28. New Orleans Saints
Deborah, FB, Ephraim Prep School
A small fullback out of Ephraim, Deborah may be a woman, but you would be making a huge mistake if you take her lightly. The dangerous fullback is pegged by many scouts as one who could revolutionize the position. With the game on the line and her team ahead, Deborah has shown a unique ability to drive into the heart of the defense and keep gaining ground. If there is something at stake, Deborah is the one you want leading the way. Rumor has it the Saints will attempt to use her unique skill set at the quarterback position, just like they did with Hill.
29. Green Bay Packers
Adam, MLB, Eden College of Zoology
The Packers once again neglect the wide receiver position, but add the future quarterback of their defense in Adam. Adam is the first ever player to come out of ECZ. The middle linebacker is excellent at two things: dusting off blockers and naming the opponent’s plays before they even know what is called. Adam has potential written all over him. One unnamed scout believes, however, that he is one poor decision away from changing the entire culture on his team. He recently married his high school sweetheart, Eve, who analysts agree should keep him out of trouble.
Career Highlights: Genesis 1-3
30. Buffalo Bills
Jehoshaphat, CB, University of Israel at Judah
With Mahomes as their primary rival, the Bills don’t know what to do, so they say their eyes on Jehoshaphat. A complete corner, scouts rave about Jehoshaphat’s skillset, his intelligence, and most notably—his patience. The game film on Jeho reveals a defensive ace who seemingly waits until the last minute before breaking on the ball and making a play. There is no panic in his game. The Bills are getting a mature leader who will make everyone around him better.
Career Highlights: 2 Chronicles 20
31. Kansas City Chiefs
Nehemiah, DT, Babylon University
While in college, Nehemiah and the rest of his defensive line were known as “The Wall”. He has a unique ability to rally his teammates in moments of turmoil and actually thrives in road games where the opponents are taunting him. Opposing running backs beware, there will very little holes to run through wherever Nehemiah ends up.
Career Highlights: The book of Nehemiah
32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Gideon, OT, College of Manasseh
Gideon has been shooting up the draft boards in the last few weeks for reasons that are still unclear. He is vastly undersized to play along the offensive line and his skill set leaves a lot to be desired. One thing he does have going for him: he listens to his coach and follows instructions well. He projects to be a great leader on any team that is undersized along an undersized Buccaneer line.
3 prospects with 1st ground grade who fall to the 2nd round…
Potiphar, QB, University of Egypt
Potiphar has all of the makings of a great franchise quarterback. His tape reveals a polished player who spots talent among his receivers and elevates them through his play. But there is a reason teams won’t spend a first round pick on him: his temper. One mistake (or even the appearance of a mistake) and he is quick to turn on you. Scouts mention that his wife’s provocative social media use could prove problematic for whatever team takes a chance on him.
Career Highlights: Genesis 39
Solomon, WR, Bel-Air Academy of Israel
Solomon has all the tools you’re looking for in a #1 receiver. He is wise beyond his years, using his uncanny ability to read the defense and making him a polished route runner. The knock on Solomon is his pretty boy reputation. He avoids contact like the plague. Scouts worry that his time at Bel-Air Academy of Israel introduced him to a comfortable lifestyle of women and money. Will he have ambition to be the best at the next level or settle for the comforts offered by an NFL contract?
Career Highlights: 1 Kings 1-11
Daniel, DT, Babylon Community College (Formerly Judah University)
During his time at BCC, Daniel proved to be the most disruptive and disciplined player in all of college football at the defensive tackle position. He regularly stunted opponents offensive attempts—all the while not drawing a single penalty during his entire career. Scouts literally have no weakness listed on their reports. Why the fall to the 2nd round? Some wonder if his all vegan diet will set him up for success at the NFL level. His stubbornness to take care of his body the way others want him to has led to several fiery debates among his former coaches.
Career Highlights: The Book of Daniel
