It’s Time to Talk About Hazing
*The opening story is about drinking and rape on a college campus and may prove difficult for survivors of similar abuse to read. The name of the individual and other small details have been changed for her protection. She gave me permission to share her story.
It was the fall of her freshman year when Jessica got the text from her teammates. The party they had all alluded to throughout her first few weeks on campus was finally happening. The details of this ceremonial event were always a little vague and most of her teammates talked about it with excitement and great anticipation.
When Jessica arrived at the house party on Saturday night, there was a sign on the door. It read “Party Rules” and proceeded to outline the mandates for the evening. The rules could be summed up in two categories: don’t stop drinking and don’t throw up.
Jessica entered the door and was immediately met with shots. She was assured that the rest of her teammates all did this when they were freshmen too. As the night progressed, so did Jessica’s ability to comprehend what was happening around her. She was too drunk to think straight.
Just before midnight one of the men’s team entered the house. Jessica would find out later that this was also part of the yearly tradition.
Over the next few hours, in a blur of inebriation and confusion, Jessica unwillingly lost her virginity to multiple members of that team. She was assaulted and raped. This was not an accident. It was—and still is, part of the yearly tradition at this particular school, between these two particular teams.
Jessica’s life hasn’t been the same since. She transferred. She struggles with suicidal ideation. She wrestles with an eating disorder. She blames herself for what happened. And to this day she hasn’t brought it up to authorities because her teammate’s voice still echoes in her head from that night: “If you tell anyone about this, we will kill you.”
The incident that I described above happened at a faith-based University. Let that sink in for a moment.
Ponder the reality that this is a real person, not a parable told for us to learn some important life lessons.
This was rape.
And it happened under the watch of a Christian athletic department, which includes Christian athletes, coaches, and administrators. While no one would celebrate the outcome, the event itself is still celebrated in various forms all across the country. It parades itself from team to team, at all different levels of evil and debauchery, under the same widely recognized name: hazing.
Athletes, coaches, and athletic directors, it’s time to talk about hazing in college sports.
The purpose of this article is fourfold:
To point out the dark side of hazing
Show that it doesn’t contribute to team unity
Point out the key players who can put a stop to it
And finally, provide a path forward consistent with a biblical worldview
What is hazing and why do we do it?
Hazing probably falls under the category of “you know it when you see it or experience it.” But a definition at least assures we’re all talking about the same thing. Hazing is “any activity expected of someone in joining or participating in a group that humiliates, degrades, abuses, or endangers them regardless of a person's willingness to participate.”
The NCAA reported that a staggering 74% of student-athletes admit to being hazed at some point during their college experience.
Why do we haze younger teammates? The reason most fall back on involves team unity and rites of passage—needing to prove worthiness to the rest of the team.
But does hazing deliver on its intended promise? Does it actually bring a team closer together and tighten the bond between them?
A national hazing study conducted in 2008 showed just the opposite:
69 percent disagreed that hazing made them feel more like a part of the group.
78 percent disagreed that they felt a sense of accomplishment.
82 percent disagreed that they felt stronger.
If it doesn’t work the way we think it should, why do we still allow it? I think the unfortunate answer is “tradition” and a mentality of “if I had to do it, then you have to do it too.”
It’s worth pointing out that while Jessica’s situation probably happens more than we want to admit, not every hazing experience involves that level of depravity. Just because an athlete doesn’t have a comparable experience to Jessica’s shouldn’t minimize their pain. The point is that hazing is not working (again, look at the stats above) the way we think it does—and it causes more damage on the back end than we could ever realize. This brings us to the next point.
The deeper damage of hazing
If we’re serious about mental health, we should be equally concerned with existing systems (like hazing) that negatively contribute to our emotional well-being. We can’t tweet our support for Simone Biles' decision and insist (or stay silent) on the continued role of hazing in sport culture.
Let’s go back to Jessica’s story. Her life will never be the same. As she is pursuing her options to get her dignity back and find her voice, she is facing the limitations of our justice system.
She is learning that pursuing justice is not the same as getting justice (only five out of 230 rapes reported to police result in conviction).
She still gets panic attacks and calls her mentors at midnight to calm down and keep from self-harm. Her hazing experience didn’t bring her closer to her teammates. Even if it did, no leger sheet on earth would balance out the life-changing trajectory she has endured by a deeper bond with the very people who put her in harm’s way.
Perhaps the only thing more heartbreaking is the reality that these very same women experienced a similar night as Jessica when they were freshmen.
Who is responsible?
Jim Thompson, founder of Positive Coaching Alliance and author of 'Elevating Your Game,” said '... many of the injustices in the world happen because observers stand idly by because they lack ‘moral courage.' Moral courage is standing up publicly for what you believe is right even when others - including sometimes your friends and teammates - don't.”
Again, I recognize that not all instances of hazing run parallel with Jessica’s experience. But her story shows the multiple layers of responsibility that exist for a yearly tradition like this to take place. By looking at her situation, we can identify (at least) five categories of blame and offer a desperate plea towards each before moving towards a path forward. If any of these groups would have shown the moral courage to stand up for what is right in this obviously wrong situation, Jessica’s story—and future, would look much different.
Men
The men’s team failed Jessica. The men had an opportunity to protect, but instead, chose to prey. They chose to use and abuse. They chose cowardice over courage. Was there not one man on that team willing to stand up and do something about this? Again, this happened at a faith-based institution. Was there not one Christ-follower, past or present, who could have risked his reputation for the sake of Jessica’s?
Men, we have to do better—especially Christian men who have the God-given mandate to treat women like sisters (1 Timothy 5:2). The act of hazing humiliates, mocks, abuses, and degrades fellow image-bearers. It’s wrong. It’s sinful. Instead of contributing to a tradition of debauchery, we can lead the way in standing up for what is honorable and right. Yes, it may cost us our reputation in the short run. But it’s an extremely minor price to pay when you think of what Jessica had to endure—and still does to this day.
Athletes (and alumni)
The teammates failed Jessica. I’ve stared at the screen for ten minutes wondering what to write next. I’m disgusted by the men. But I’m equally stunned at her teammates for continuing a tradition that degrades and humiliates each other. I’ve been around sports enough to know that the sign on the door with the nine rules happens just about everywhere. I’m not saying it’s right. But there is a certain level of safety involved when you know this is just you and the team. Bringing in another team to take advantage of your drunk teammates is an extreme violation of trust and safety.
Athletes, if you believe that hazing is meant to bring unity, you must protect each other’s wellbeing (physically and emotionally) at all costs. True unity comes when you stand in the gap for each other, not when you push another into the gap for a good laugh or because “you had to do it when you were a freshman.” To hell with tradition. You can make your younger teammates feel valued and worthy just by telling them.
Coaches
The coaches failed Jessica. I don’t know this for a fact, but Jessica is pretty confident the coaches knew. Some of them used to be on the team themselves. Knowing and remaining silent, while having the power to end it, is enablement.
Coaches, if you know there is unhealthy hazing happening on the team you coach, it’s your responsibility to step in and do something about it. Your role as a coach extends beyond practice and competition. I’m guessing (and hoping) the situations are rare that a coach knows what’s going on but passively turns a blind eye to it. The more likely situation is that most coaches know something happens, they just don’t know what. I would encourage coaches that fall in this category to press for answers. Ignorance may be bliss for you, but that doesn’t help the Jessica’s of the athletic world who need you to step in. Again, if her story can happen at a faith-based institution, it can happen where you're at. Do you know the hazing rituals of your team? If not, I would plead with you to get answers.
Athletic Directors
The athletic directors failed Jessica. Hazing is a tradition. In this case, as a recurring event between two teams, the people in charge bear a large weight of the responsibility.
Athletic directors, hoping that hazing doesn’t exist or that it’s not as bad as other schools is not an effective strategy. If 74% of college athletes admit to being hazed, here is the unfortunate truth: you probably have a hazing problem at your school. Again, it may not be at the level of Jessica’s situation, but that doesn’t mean athletes under your watch are not suffering in silence. Establishing severe consequences for hazing may not score you popularity points with the captains, but it will protect the athletes at your school who feel powerless in these situations. You’re responsible for the culture. And establishing a culture means drawing hard and clear boundary lines for what’s celebrated and what won’t be tolerated.
Justice System
The justice system failed Jessica. I know for a fact that Jessica has talked to the very best people in the industry at the intersection of athletics and sexual abuse. The advice she has received was honest, but defeating. After hours of conversation, it was recommended that if she wanted to pursue justice, to do so as a means to get her voice back, but not to expect justice to be served. Yes, she had a strong case. But so do most victims in these circumstances. The experts in these fields point out that many times it’s more likely the victim will fall deeper into suicidal ideation throughout the “justice” process than a just verdict is actually served.
A path forward
So, where do we go from here? There have been many articles written about the harmful effects of hazing. Most come to the same conclusion: this needs to stop. But the “just stop it” approach can’t compete against a cultural norm within the context of sports that has existed for decades.
Even what I outlined above and my plea towards each group of people may place a temporary dam in front of the current of hazing, but we need more than that. We need a new approach, not just a canceled approach. I would like to propose a path forward that is uniquely Christian in its origin. This is one of many places where the world of sport can benefit by following a biblical blueprint.
Athletes, coaches, and athletic directors, what if we flipped the script and chose the path of honoring over hazing?
The whole model of hazing is built around an ideology claiming that you are not worthy to be part of this group and you must perform to belong. The Christian faith is grounded in a theology of grace. It’s a belief that we belong because God says we belong, not because we have to earn it. It’s a worldview grounded in the fact Jesus was humiliated, degraded, abused, and killed—in our place, so that we would be accepted before God.
Jesus modeled this in his death. But he also modeled it throughout his ministry. Jesus showed us consistently that when the cultural norm is to shame or humiliate a certain individual, the biblical response involves offering them dignity and honor.
He invited children to come when it was unpopular to do so (Matthew 19:14).
He treated women as equals when it was culturally acceptable to look down on them (John 4:1-42).
He chose disciples who were overlooked by other rabbis (Luke 6:12-16).
He engaged with the sick, lame, blind, and mute instead of avoiding them (Pick just about any chapter in the Gospels).
He granted the thief on the cross next to him eternal life (Luke 23:43).
We would do well to follow the lead of Jesus.
What if, instead of humiliating the freshmen on our team, which is culturally acceptable, we initiated an annual event to honor them instead? But they don’t deserve it! They haven’t done anything yet! That’s the point. Grace (free gift) by its very definition cannot be earned.
I think honoring over hazing is the right biblical option. But I also think it’s just the best option, period. I think asking “how can we make them feel worthy?” instead of “how can we make them feel miserable?” is the healthiest approach to any human interaction. I think honoring freshmen instead of humiliating them will bring the team closer together. I think it teaches athletes to think creatively about how they can encourage each other. I think it creates a culture of trust, unity, and positivity. And I think a culture like that best positions any team to win—and have a lot of fun doing it.
What does honoring look like practically?
To be clear, I am not advocating for freshmen to stand in the middle of the locker room and have everyone say something nice about them. Maybe that would work on some teams. It definitely would not have worked well for my team in college.
You know your people. You know their quirks, the inside jokes, and what people consider fun (football players and xc runners have very different definitions of fun). The best way to change a culture is to create a new one that’s even more attractive.
You can still make someone uncomfortable without making them feel small.
You can laugh with and at someone without sacrificing their dignity for the punchline.
You can still have fun without it feeling like a frat party.
Here are a couple of questions to consider in your attempt to honor instead of haze:
Is it legal?
Is it safe?
Is it humorous?
Is it memorable?
Is it kind?
Or read Galatians 5:19-23. Does your proposed night of initiating line up more with the fruit of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit?
Perhaps the best question, for any athlete, coach, or athletic director committed to following Christ is this: if Jesus was on my team, would I feel comfortable doing this to him? I think Jesus probably has a better sense of humor than we often give him credit for, but that question helps draw some pretty clear lines.
Hazing doesn’t work. We know this. In extreme cases, we have stories like Jessica’s that are easy to sweep under the rug as the exception, not the norm. But just because that may be the exception is not compelling evidence for hazing to continue in the way we historically do it.
It shouldn’t continue because it doesn’t work the way we claim it does.
It shouldn’t continue because it humiliates, degrades, and abuses people made in God’s image.
It shouldn’t continue because athletes today face enough pressure with the prevalence of social media, the increase in broken homes, and the instability of their identities.
It shouldn’t continue because the mental health of athletes demands it shouldn’t.
And it shouldn’t continue because there is a better path forward—a path shown to us by Jesus, who consistently chose to honor.
Christians, we need to stand up and be different. We need to be the alternative. We need to have the biblical and moral courage to say there is a better way—because there is.
