Help! I Think My Athlete is Faking a Mental Health Crisis
“What should you do when you think…”
The coach paused, unsure if he should actually ask this question out loud. But he didn’t think about that before he started asking it.
“When an athlete comes to you citing mental health as an issue…”
Another pause.
I was able to step in and ask the question on the coach’s mind:
“What do you do when you think an athlete is faking a mental health crisis?”
He nodded and the other coaches leaned in as I gathered my thoughts. It wasn’t the first time this question had been asked. Let me backtrack. It wasn’t the first time a coach has tried to ask this question, but couldn’t give themselves permission to bluntly say it out loud.
As the category of mental health continues to gain more momentum within the culture of sport, coaches need some semblance of competency with how to think about and speak this new language that athletes seem to be more fluent in with each passing day.
So, what should a coach do if they think one of their athletes is faking a mental health crisis?
How can you know for sure if it’s an issue about mental health or something else?
Let me start by saying this: I think the overwhelming majority of athletes who share that they are struggling with their mental health are telling the truth. Again, one of the big reasons why the area of mental health has gained so much momentum among athletes is that it gives them language for this hidden opponent they are up against. It gives them a category to identify that something is wrong, even if they can’t quite put their finger on what that is. I know a few coaches who have expressed an uneasiness that the words “mental health” have become a junk drawer term that can mean just about anything the athlete wants.
Coaches are vocational experts at seeing a problem and coming up with a solution. But you can’t create a game plan or training program for something you cannot see with your own eyes.
It’s hard to get your head around the struggle when mental health challenges show up in so many different ways, unique to each person’s story. Unfortunately for the coach, an athlete’s mental health cannot be analyzed like game film.
Most of the time, only the athlete knows when the inner pressures in their life hinder their ability to compete. I think we need to start by assuming the best about our athletes until they give us ample reason to distrust them.
With that being said, below is a resource that may prove beneficial in this process. While you can never really know if an athlete is just trying to get out of a hard day of practice, you can build a system within your program that best positions you to “scout” your athlete’s mental health. I call it the “Total Athlete Check-In.” You can take it, adapt it, rename it. Whatever you want. It’s not groundbreaking. Maybe you are already doing some version of it.
Regarding an athlete’s mental health, coaches should aim to be proactive instead of reactive.
How to use the Total Athlete Check-In
The check-in is designed to help you and your staff track how each of your athletes is doing across four areas: physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually. If you coach at a school where faith is not a core value, you could just use the first three categories.
I would recommend having athletes fill this out once a week. Though some ADs have suggested a monthly rhythm is more realistic, I think weekly feedback is essential to knowing where your athletes are at. Here are some thoughts on how this works practically:
I think you want this information before the start of each week. I would try to collect it on Sunday night or Monday morning.
While you could hand out this sheet of paper, I don’t think that’s the best way to implement this. I think a text or email allows you to best collect the information. This way, each week, a text from your athletes would look like this:
That will take the athlete less than a minute, but it will give you helpful feedback on how they are doing in life apart from sport.
Then, you or one of your coaches puts those answers into the same spreadsheet each week.
You, or someone on your staff, would see how their latest entry stacks up against past entries (Only your coaching staff would see these entries each week).
If there is a deviation or a negative trend you notice, they may be in a mental health crisis or trending towards one.
The Role of a Coach: What do I do with this information?
What do you do with all of this? No, you shouldn’t just ignore it. But you are probably not a trained counselor either. Ignoring or overstepping are two traps a coach can easily fall into regarding an athlete’s mental health.
Coaches must find a middle ground between these two extremes.
It’s best to see your role as being a bridge that helps connect an athlete in need to someone who can serve them best in that space.
Your job is to provide a feedback-rich culture (which this system allows you to do), potentially adjust some of your coaching methods based on the feedback you are receiving, and help connect your athletes to trained professionals who can walk alongside them.
Why this is worth your time
It establishes a baseline
Before you can discern how serious a potential mental health crisis is, you need to first establish a baseline for each athlete. By using this over the course of a season (or off-season), you should see some consistency with how each athlete rates themselves across these four categories. This becomes your baseline for each athlete.
So, when Linsey comes to you and says she is having some struggles with mental health, you can do one of two things:
If Linsey, who usually rates high in one of the areas, rates something lower that week, you are alerted that something is going on. When she comes to you, without pointing that out to her, you at least have some evidence that something shifted in her life that has caused a significant amount of mental stress.
If Linsey’s ratings show no deviation from the norm, you can ask for more clarity by saying something like this: “Thanks for sharing that with me and I’m sorry that you're struggling with this. Can you tell me a little more about this? Looking at your check-in sheet, you seem to be doing the same physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually as you have been all semester. Did something recently change that I need to know about? This is not an “I gotcha!” moment, rather, the check-in sheet becomes your ticket to digging in a little further to create space for her to share.
It allows you to better serve them
Beyond “knowing if they are telling the truth” (which, again, I think it’s best to start with believing them), knowing how they are doing across more categories than just the physical allows you to coach them better.
Athletes are not robots. Things that happen in life affect them and their ability to compete.
Parents divorce. Sexual abuse. Failing grades (or grades not up to their or their parent's standards). Recent breakup. Many cannot flip the switch and compartmentalize the rest of their life when they step onto the playing/practice field. They bring that weight with them.
I would encourage you, coach, to not view this reality as a threat to you or your team, but see it as an opportunity.
The more information you have about how they are doing, the better you can serve them. As former Lions coach Jim Caldwell once said, “The more you know about them, the better you can serve them. I've always believed coaching is a service business."
For example, imagine Linsey ranks her physical fitness really low for a few weeks. She may benefit from some encouragement from your coaching staff that she is more fit than she thinks. Equipped with this information about her, you can use it as an opportunity. Perhaps you could pull her aside after a good practice and simply say: “Hey, I know from your check-in that you may not be feeling the best physically, but I just want you to know that from what I am seeing in practice, you are right where you need to be. Even if it’s a grind, I want you to know that I am seeing progress and resiliency as you push through this.”
It builds trust
The check-in, utilized in the right way, can help you build trust with your athletes. What does “the right way” mean? Information is power. The more you know about someone, the more you can weaponize that information against them. Your athletes need to know that you are using this (or something like this) because you care about them holistically, not just for what they bring to the field. It allows you to be proactive in your care for them. Again, we can use Linsey as an example.
If you notice that Linsey rates an area significantly lower one week than her “norm,” you may consider following up with her to give her space to let you in on what she is struggling with. If you know she isn’t comfortable sharing with you, you can say something like: “I can tell from your check-in this week that you have something going on. Do you have someone in your life that you can talk about this with? It doesn’t need to be me but it’s important that you have the support you need. I can help you find that support if you don’t have it.” (Again, you are the bridge).
When something is wrong, the win is when the athlete verbalizes what’s wrong and brings it into the light.
How can you tell if an athlete is faking a mental health crisis? That’s actually the wrong question. A better question is this: What systems or norms do I have in place to help my athletes feel comfortable coming to me when something feels…off?
If your athletes can trust that you care for them holistically, you can trust they will share with you honestly.
