7 Habits of a Grateful Coach
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” - 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Aside from the Bible encouraging us to be thankful (which it does, often), studies show that people who practice gratitude are generally more happy, healthy, and more optimistic about life.
Even though we have ample evidence to prioritize a posture of gratitude, it can be hard to practice gratitude amidst the daily grind of being a coach. Our ability to choose (yes, it’s often a choice) gratitude often ebbs and flows with the circumstances in front of us. In light of this reality, how are we supposed to, as the Apostle Paul encourages us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, give thanks in all circumstances?
It starts with understanding that gratitude functions like any other muscle in our body—it gets stronger if we consistently give it attention and push it beyond its level of comfort. Conversely, if we fail to work it out, our ability to be thankful naturally atrophies. It needs to become a habit.
Why is this so challenging for coaches? Because of the nature of the profession, coaches have to constantly be thinking about the next play, the next game, the next season, the next recruiting cycle, etc. Even when the end goal of a championship is attained, coaches must begin thinking about defending it next season. This preoccupation with “what’s next” can stunt the God-honoring ethos of finding contentment and gratitude.
Coaches, we need to fight against the “what’s next” mentality. And we can start by intentionally building habits that will grow the muscle of gratitude in our lives.
With that in mind, here are seven ideas for coaches to habituate into their lives in an effort to grow a culture of gratitude in their hearts and on their teams. The more often we flex these muscles, the easier it becomes to be truly grateful.
Grateful Coaches Train for Character
Grateful coaches realize that the athletes they coach need more than athletic success. They need to grow in their character. And sports provide the perfect training grounds for character development and transformation. In his book, InSideOut Coaching, Joe Ehrmann said, “Transformational coaches believe young people can grow and flourish in sports in a way that is more liberating and instructive than can be achieved through almost any other activity.”
Sport doesn’t build character. It provides opportunities for growth to happen. But character development usually takes someone who sees the opportunity for the athlete to grow—and helps them towards that end.
A grateful coach finds immense joy and satisfaction when they reflect on the unique role they play in this process.
Grateful Coaches Self-Scout
A grateful coach knows their tendencies—both good and bad. They know things like:
“I tend to be more on edge when I only get six hours of sleep.”
“When I go to church, I just feel a peace that I can’t really understand.”
“When I start my day reading the Bible, I find that I am more patient with others.”
“If I scroll on social media or sit on a screen for too long, it negatively affects my mood.”
Beyond surface-level scouting, as described above, a grateful coach also watches “old tape” on themselves too. Again, Ehrmann provides some help in this space. He says, “Coaches have to get their own story down as coherently as possible before turning to the sacred task of transforming young people.”
Coach, there is a story behind why you are the way you are (for better or worse). A grateful coach leans into their backstory and chooses to get better, not bitter from their past.
Grateful Coaches See and Recognize People
This goes beyond seeing that there is a human in front of us and recognizing that they do, in fact, exist. It means knowing their names, shaking their hands, and treating them as the image bearer of God that they are—just like the rest of us.
Grateful coaches practice the habit of taking time to get to know people. And not as a means to an end. Not to recruit. Not to raise money. Not when there is some kickback to the program or their self-interest.
They shake the hand of the maintenance worker who helps cut the grassy field that their athletes are about to tear up with their cleats or the janitor who mops the floor so their feet won’t slide on the dust. They learn the names and stories of those who exist in the same spaces they do but hold different job titles. They may even find ways to celebrate these individuals in front of their teams to help their athletes build the habit of seeing and recognizing others.
Grateful Coaches Rest
Rest may be a four-letter word to some coaches, but it’s absolutely vital to our growth in gratitude. Resting allows us
A grateful coach understands that rest is not a reward for a hard day’s work. It’s a rhythm that allows for any productive work to be done in the first place. And the more we rest, the more we find ways to be joyful in the present, while at the same time, reflecting on what we have to be thankful for from the past few days.
The margin we create with rest also positions us to bless. As pastor (and former NFL player) Derwin Gray says, “A healthy me, blesses you.”
Grateful Coaches Pad Their Stats
If you want to grow in your ability to be grateful, it starts with listing out what you are actually grateful for. Go ahead and try it. Pad your gratitude stats by recording as many things you can think of, even if the list includes easy things like “The weather today.” Why do we do this? Again, to train our muscles so when it comes time to flex, there is something there worth flexing (Disclaimer: Hopefully you understand that gratitude is not something we show off for the sake of vanity. It’s something we utilize to grow in character and serve others).
When I was in college, I ran 100 miles per week (OK, maybe that’s me showing off a bit). But I didn’t start by running that much. It started with a few miles a day until I was able to build up a tolerance to longer distances. Gratitude muscles are the same.
What if you started or ended each day by simply writing down 3-5 things you are grateful for? I would bet that after a month of doing this, you would begin to find it easier throughout your day to find ways to be thankful, even in difficult situations, because you regularly built the habit of training those muscles to flex.
Grateful Coaches are…Coachable
Grateful coaches understand that leaders are learners. And learning doesn’t just come from books and podcasts. It comes from the very people that God has placed in front of us every day to sharpen us and transform us into His likeness.
Grateful coaches realize they do not have all of the answers. Even if they disagree with the input given, it will not keep them from at least considering it and seeing if there is truth in what was shared.
They may even find someone to coach them on a weekly basis. Our culture would celebrate these as “life coaches.” The Bible would call it discipleship.
Coaches, please don’t let your positional authority prevent you from being truly known and authentic with trusted people who you allow to speak truth into your life.
Grateful Coaches Call Timeouts
Before practice or competition, they stop, take a deep breath, and make it a point to appreciate what they are about to engage in. Who else on this earth gets to coach a game they love in front of fans who cheer them on in the process?
Is there pressure involved in that? Sure. But grateful coaches make it a habit to pause and enjoy, if only for a moment, the unique opportunity they get to experience.
They give themselves permission to call a timeout in their hearts and appreciate the goodness, joy, and opportunity around them that, without intentionality, could be easily assumed and taken for granted.
